| War Results |
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| The camera goes around the arena with “War Pigs” by Black Sabbath. Red and Purple fireworks go off and the camera focuses on Stan Gweedo and J Diamond. J: “Hello everyone and welcome to the 2 installment of WAR!” Stan: “Come on man, it’s Monday Night WAR! Get it right.” J: “WAR or Monday Night WAR! There is still going to be a WAR! You know what I think-“ Stan: “It doesn’t matter what you think! Cause we are in New York City and I’m loving it without your retarded ass mouth.” J: “Let’s get this going damnit.” The Michigan Gunners run to the ring with cheers J: “This is the first chance for the Gunners.” Stan: “So if they fuck this up. They have next week.” Mindsickness walks to the ring with boos J: “However these men don’t.” Stan: “Sucks for them.” The ref signals for the bell and the match gets started J: “And here we go.” Jake Hunter gets in the ring first. Alex Darkhorse and Draven Saint talk who is going in first. Alex hops in the ring and the two meet up eye to eye. Stan: “It’s the final stare down!” J: “Not funny.” Stan: “Your mom’s vagina is funny.” The ref tries to push the two apart. Jake slaps Alex and snap suplex. Jake lifts up Alex but Alex kicks Jake in the gut and does a DDT with a pin… 1…2..BREAKOUT! Alex drags Jake over to his corner and tags in Draven. Alex and Draven go for a double superkick but Jake ducks and does a double clothesline. Jake trips over Alex’s body but Mike Lynch stretches his arm out and makes the tag. J: “Jake is managing to make it alive.” Stan: “Even though Draven and Alex are pretty big compared to the Gunners.” Alex gets up and Mike does a dropsault sending Alex out of the ring. Mike lifts up Draven and does an brainbuster DDT with a pin… 1…Alex breaks it up Jake hops in and does a clothesline over the rope sending Jake and Alex out of the ring. Draven gets out of the ring and helps his partner. Stan: “The fuck Lynch. Help Jake!” J: “He is planning.” Mike looks and runs at the ropes and does a Corkscrew Tope Plancha taking the 3 fighting out of the ring out. J: “Damn!” Stan: “Holy Damn!” Mike gets up and slides Draven in the ring. Jake lifts up Alex and does a Running Stunner. Jake slides in the ring. The Michigan Gunners do The Gunner’s Last Shot but with Lynch doing the corkscrew moonsault… 1…2…3! Jake and Lynch raise their hands and hug ------------------------------------------------------------------------ J: “Now it’s time for the DEW’s Xtreme title match!” Stan: “Do you have to yell, people can see the cards. Unless we forgot the blind people.” Cryus walks out holding his belt with boos J: “Here comes a man that plans on keeping this title of his.” Stan: “And he will damnit!” CPK runs to the ring and has he jumps in Cryus slams the belt across CPK’s head. J: “The fucking match hasn’t started yet!” Stan: “It’s extreme rules. Anything goes.” The ref calls for the bell and Cryus irish whips CPK into the ropes but CPK does a DDT. CPK lifts up Cryus but Cryus does the Painreliver with the pin… 1…2…3! J: “Damn, for an extreme match the extreme was left out.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Stan: “Who cares. Now we have the oh so smoking hot Diva Battle Royal. Maria Cruz walks to the ring with cheers. Jennifer Dash walks out. Stan: “Now she is H.O.T.T.Y.” J: “Hotty? You mean hot?” Stan: “You’re gay.” Pamela Banks runs to the ring Michelle Castle follows Then last but not least Angel walks out J: “This is going to be fun.” Stan: “And hot.” The ref calls the bell and hops out along with two others. Maria runs at Banks but Banks flips her over the rope. Angel jumps at Banks and takes her down. Dash pulls Angel off Banks and does a suplex on Angel. Castle runs and dropkicks Dash out of the ring. J: “Damn, this shit is going now fast.” Stan: “Damn indeed my friend.” J: “You’re not my friend.” Stan: “I like to rape friends..” J: “What?” Stan: “Who?” Banks looks at Dash and turns around and clotheslines Castle out of the ring. Angel gets up and gets punched in the jaw and does a DDT. Banks starts to kick Angel out of the right until Angel grabs Bank’s foot and throws her out. Angel climbs back in. J: “Look out behind you Angel!” Banks was holding onto the rope and suplexs Angel out of the ring. Stan: “There we have it!” Lizzie walks out with a mic. Lizzie: “Bitch, if you think you can’t beat me this Friday. You’re the ultimate blonde.” Banks: “You slut. You’re still going to look like the slut you are after I win.” Lizzie: “You wish.” Lizzie starts walking down the ramp but Jake and Mike run out and stop her. Banks: “Yea, get your faggot boyfriends to help you run from your whore self.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------ J: “Now for our main event.” Stan: “Which is Aaron Lenix and Mavrick Star. Aaron walks to the ring with Melissa Lenix with cheers J: “This is Josh’s older brother with his wife.” Stan: “And his wife is….hot!” Mavrick Star walks to the ring with boos. The ref calls for the bell and the two lock up. Mavrick does a suplex on Aaron. Mavrick lifts up Aaron and does a standing dropkick but Aaron grabs his feet and does a powerbomb pin… 1…2..BREAKOUT! J: “Aaron here is a huge man and he doesn’t mess around.” Stan: “How many titles has he held?” Jake Hunter hops over the barrier and puts on a mic set. J: “Hey Jake.” Jake: “Hey guys.” Mavrick gets up and does a backbreaker on Aaron. Stan: “Why are you out here man?” Jake: “Just in case those Godfather extras or Project Slut come out. Cause Josh is a good friend of mine.” J: “Like a Guardian Angel?” Jake: “Well I was called “The Bodyguard” once. So, I guess so.” Mavrick lifts up Aaron and does a scoop slam but Aaron reverses with a powerslam… 1…2..BREAKOUT! J: “It seems like Mavrick’s plans are working so well.” Stan: “Just wait.” Jake: “For Aaron to do the Afterburner?” Stan: “He wishes he could do it.” Aaron picks up Mavrick and throws him into the rope. Aaron does a big boot. Mavrick rolls out of the ring. Aaron waits. Jake: “I wonder what is going through Mav’s mind.” J: “Most likely the fact that his mouth got him in huge trouble.” Stan: “Or the fact that Aaron’s body is pumped with steroids.” Mavrick hops in the ring but runs into the Afterburner with a pin… 1…2…3! Jake: “Heh..take that Stan.” Stan: “Shut up Jake.” Jake takes off the mic and jumps over the barrier. J: “Peace Jake.” Stan: “And everyone else at home.”
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